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Sunday SLAM! Nathan VS. Deadpool

Welcome to the Sunday Slam! Each week, we match up two characters to duke it out in a fight to the death! Or to the pain! Or to the humiliation, or what have you. Then you, the readers, vote on who wins and gets SLAMMED!

For our inaugural battle, this week we present:

Nathan vs. Deadpool in The Battle of the Immortal Motor-Mouths!

Nathan and Deadpool have two things in common: neither of them can die and neither of them can shut up. Nathan, the fan-favourite from E4’s Misfits, has the ability to come back to life no matter how many times or ways he is killed. The Irish bastard is also known for having a particular way with words, annoying most everyone he meets to no end.  Deadpool, on the other hand, has a healing factor that rivals Wolverine’s and, when combined with his combat prowess, makes him rather difficult to kill. It is rare to find a moment of quiet around ol’ ‘Pool, and when he’s not chatting with other characters, he’s musing through the fourth wall to the readers themselves.

Outcome #1:

As soon as these two get thrown into the ring, you know that they will be throwing insults long before they start throwing punches. The real match between these two will be with words, as each tries to out-pun the other. Deadpool will probably take the upper hand early on, but once Nathan gets in a couple of good jabs, ‘Pool will be put off his game and resort to his trusty swords. But decapitating Nathan won’t be the end of it. Nathan will come back to life and bring out the taunts with even more vigour than before. By the end, the swords will be long forgotten and Nathan will emerge the champion, having dealt Deadpool a final cuss-filled blow. 

Outcome #2:

Realizing that Nathan regenerates only when he’s actually killed, Deadpool quickly dispatches the young Irishman and takes to seeing just how much pain he can endure. Nathan may put on a brave face and try dealing out a few snappy comebacks, but once Deadpool has removed both his face and voicebox, Nathan will be completely helpless. Deadpool uses his expertise to keep Nathan just on the brink of death, declaring himself winner once he’s filled Nathan’s various orifices with the lad’s own toes.

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About the author

David Molofsky

David is the Founder & Editor-in-Cape of AP2HYC.