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The 10 Worst Things to Ever Happen to Spider-Man

Being Spider-Man ain’t all sunshine and sugar lumps. Sure, he’s married to a supermodel, with full Avengers’ membership and his own Spider-mobile, but his life has been plagued with misfortune. Between trying to hold down a minimum wage job, maintaining a secret identity, tending to his elderly aunt, keeping his marriage going, and saving the city on a daily basis from a plethora of deadly rogues, all the while plagued by guilt for the deaths caused by his actions, frankly it’s amazing he hasn’t been found hanging from a web noose.

Here are the worst things to have ever happened to Peter Parker, along with some of the worst aspects of his life.

10. Aunt May Refuses to Die or Stay Dead

The elderly living longer lives due to medical advancements has been a strain on the economy, resources and their families, and few exemplify this burden better than Aunt May. May has been nothing but an irritating thorn in Peter’s side since day one. In a world of super soldiers, ninja magician assassins and mental mutant terrorists, he’s constantly fretting for the safety of a woman frail enough for a stiff breeze to be a cause for concern. This is bad enough when she isn’t looking for trouble, yet May seems to draw danger to her the way a root seeks out nutrients for sustenance. Whether she being abducted, held hostage, mortally wounded, falling down an open manhole or occasionally sleeping with some of Spideys’ biggest foes, May is a magnet for concern for her fretting nephew.

Let’s chalk up her most notable adventures, shall we? Marrying Doc Ock, with pre-marital escapades in eroticism thrown in for good measure; getting kidnapped by the Green Goblin and buried alive, twice; being shot days after Peter’s identity becomes public, then coming back to life and repaying her nephew (who paid for her life with his marriage by literally dealing with the Devil) by marrying J. Jonah Jameson’s father, making Spider-Man and his nemesis step-brothers.

If she died there would be a moment of grief but Pete could move on. Unfortunately, there appears to be no ridding him of this albatross from round his neck.

 

About the author

Matt Spencer