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The 10 Types of Internet Superheroes

In this technological age, it seems that superheroes are relying more and more on computers and that information superhighway known as the internet. But looking around at some of the people you see on the web everyday, it’s hard not to be reminded of some of your favourite heroes. Here are just a few examples of the different kinds of internet users, and the superheroes they resemble…

10. Batman

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This is the guy who’s got information on everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. He knows exactly what their every move is, was, and will be. Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, he follows you into all of the dark alleys of the internet and strikes just when you think you’re finally safe. He is adept at manipulating the people around him so subtly they don’t even realize what he’s done until after the trap is sprung.

Also has no patience for jokers.

 

9. Rogue

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She is the girl that has never been able to have an original opinion. Instead, she leeches off of her friends, liking the things they like, following the things they follow. Every link on her Facebook page is a repost and even her status updates are unoriginal. The worst part is she’s not even consistent; one day she’ll be spouting off about how important a woman’s right to choose is, then post bible scripture the next day.

It’s like she absorbs other people’s essences, but can’t hold onto them long enough to form her own identity.
8. Hulk

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We’ve all seen this guy. He loves comment boards and chat rooms, but gets horribly defensive the second his views are attacked. He turns green with rage and start blathering absolute nonsense at the merest insult. Even if someone is just trying to start a good natured debate, he flares up and starts smashing his way through the discussion. The only thing that can calm him down is the touch of a good woman, but the fact that he can’t seem to get one is probably the source of all his anger in the first place.

And so he lives in an endless cycle of rage and loneliness.

About the author

David Molofsky

David is the Owner & Editor-in-Chief of AP2HYC.